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Show what you CAN do, not what you CANNOT.
As a coach, I often find that clients struggle to set boundaries and explain to their managers or peers that they just can’t do it all. That's why I always emphasize the importance of the "can/will" and "cannot/won't" distinction.
When someone asks you to do something that feels overwhelming or impossible, it's easy to fall into the trap of listing out all the reasons why it's not possible. This can come off as excuses and can be perceived negatively.
People are interested in what you CAN and WILL do. They want to know what’s possible!
There are a few outcomes that can happen when you think you can do it all: extreme stress, a "counterfeit yes" where you agree to do something that puts additional work or pressure on your plate, or burnout. Boundaries start to feel completely open.
By focusing on what you CAN do, you'll be able to transform your conversations and get closer to achieving your goals. You’re putting yourself in the driver’s seat to create boundaries of what’s possible instead of focusing on what is not.
➡ Instead of listing out all the reasons why you can't meet a deadline, offer what you CAN do, like providing a first draft by Thursday and the final draft two weeks later.
The "can/will" and "cannot/won't" distinction is key to being able to position your needs in a new way and get closer to a mutual outcome.
🤔 What CAN/WILL you do this week when you’re asked to do something that feels impossible?